who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
