They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
