Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
