I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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