He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
