...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I touched a dick in church today
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
