i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
this will be a night to untag.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
