I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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