D3 body, D1 cock
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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