she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
