There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
