I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
not ubering you a puppy
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
