I wish I only lived at night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
