the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
