Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
