"it" just moved
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
