Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
