Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
