We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
