i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize