he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
