Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
