Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
