dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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