Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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