Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
