ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
