the new term for farting is butt boxing.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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