never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
