And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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