So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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