OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
