I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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