the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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