we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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