You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
