Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
