4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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