goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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