Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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