Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
