you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
