I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
