how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I wear drunk well.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
