My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
did i walk over a car last night?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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