So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
