Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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