I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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