You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
