Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
