I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
