He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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