Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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