Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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