I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
