bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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