my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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