Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
