Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
