my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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