Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
