He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
