idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
