I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
