Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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