I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So vagazzling was a success
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
