The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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