He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
