he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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