I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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