I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
